Why We Go Together

Brian and I have been married for four years, together seven. That’s really not that long when you hear about cute, wrinkly elderly couples making it 50 years. Take my grandparents for example. Amazing stuff right there.

However, in the seven years we have been together, we have experienced enough together to realize and accept we don't have the Leave it to Beaver family. Not even close. It's messy and chaotic, exhausting and exposing, it can even be undesirable at times, but when we least expect it, its love, strength and simplicity snap us back to reality.

We have grown from immature, dramatic college kids (who met in a bar) into responsible, respectable parents. I once slapped him (in a bar) during a drunken stupor. Yikes, that’s embarrassing. Lucky for me, husband forgave me and took me out for drinks the following night. The point is, we were young then {and slightly stupid}, and today, we're big kids with real jobs, who share a beautiful little boy.

We’ve fought, we’ve laughed, we’ve cried, and exchanged hateful words we regret, but through it all, we’ve learned.  We learned what works for us. How to surprise each other, what pushes the others’ buttons, how to apologize, what makes the other laugh, what reactions to expect, when to walk away and what not to take seriously.

We’re both extremely stubborn and each of us thinks we are always right. Add that to an argument and it’s comparable to a tornado going through western Kansas. We don't typically hold anything back, which can be a good thing and a bad thing.

We've learned to understand each other. Brian knows when I’m being ridiculous and having a freak out moment on him, and I know when he’s being an asshole and taking his work stress out on me.

We accept each others faults and understand that our marriage isn’t perfect. We don’t strive for perfection or sanity. In fact, we don't want that at all. We enjoy the experiences, the hurdles, the challenges and struggles. Isn't that what life is all about? Learning from our mistakes, achieving the impossible and succeeding at whatever it is we set out to do.

The important thing is that we are really good at loving each other. Loving each other honestly, for both the good and the bad.

We work because we make it work.

We work at it. We work hard. Every single day. Which is why we go together.

Like peanut butter and jelly. Or Kat Von D and Jesse James.

Our advice to married couples? Never go to bed angry. Stay up and fight it out.
I gave this advice in my speech at my best friend's wedding. True story.

"Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous." -Carrie, Sex and the City-

See photos of our wedding here. And if you’re really interested, photos of us dressed up like Kat Von D and Jesse.