Watch Me Grow: 1 Month

Well, we've made it one whole month Big Boy!

You survived four weeks under the care of me and your Dad. When you read this someday, you won't understand how scary that is, but just know that you have completely turned our world upside down!

We never realized how much joy you would bring to our lives. We fall more in love with you every day.

Carson's 1-month stats:

Weight: 10 lbs 2 oz

Height: 22 in

Head circumference: 15 in
In the Closet: 0-3 Months
Diapers: Size 1
Grub: Breastmilk
Sleep: 4-8 hours, very inconsistent
New Activity/Development: Lots of cuddles, very alert for a baby, unintentional smiles, starting to really notice things around you
Loves: Eating, sleeping and pooping, repeat, repeat, repeat.
Hates: Tummy time, sleeping by yourself.

Carson, I don't know what I did to deserve you. I am so proud to be your mommy.

I'm pretty emotional these days. Just thinking about you and staring into your eyes makes me cry. I feel so blessed to have you. Don't tell Dad I told you this, but he cries just thinking about you too.

My favorite time with you is at night, when we two step in the kitchen to get you to go to sleep. You nestle up against my chest, and make the sweetest noises.

Sleeping has been a struggle my dear boy. You wouldn't sleep on your back for the first three weeks of your life, so Daddy and I pretty much held you all night long. We tried the swing, the bouncer, your crib. You just want to be held, so we rotate shifts in the recliner. We've had some looooong nights, but you are so very worth it.

The doctor said you have acid reflux and that's why you didn't want to sleep flat. We got you some medicine and it seems to be getting better. You now sleep in between us in our bed. It's a king, so we have lots of space. We're not supposed to do this, and know you won't stay there for long, but you sleep so well in between us right now. Shhhh...it's our little secret.

Your first month in this world has been eventful. We've been busy trying to get you on a schedule, but you seem to have another plan for us. You had your days and nights mixed up for awhile, so we started placing you in the sunlight in the morning and encouraging play. But for the most part, you eat and sleep when you want. Can we say spoiled?

We just returned home from your first road trip. You did so well. Slept pretty much the entire time in the car. I'm not surprised considering you always sleep in the car. Are we going to be those parents who go for car rides just to get you to sleep?

Your cord finally fell off a few weeks ago and you received your first bath! We also captured our first pic of your precious dimple. We're not sure where it came from, but you make it look so good.

I'm so smitten with you Big Boy. I spend hours and hours staring at you wondering how something so perfect was given to me. Sometimes, I have to pinch myself just to realize that this is real life. You are mine.

I can't wait to spend the next eight weeks with you at home my little love bug.

Love, Mommy

Newborn

Home for the Holidays

When I first found out we would welcome a baby this year in mid to late November, I thought to myself, "What a great time to have a baby and be off work."

Plenty of time to design my holiday card/birth announcement, time at home to get out all the decorations, on maternity leave to get some holiday shopping done. Sounds ideal, right?

Well, little did I know that I would have a c-section and be quite sore for weeks, and have a hard time finding any time during the day to get anything else done besides caring for the little angel I just gave birth to.

Honestly, I don't know what I was thinking. I guess I thought he would sleep a lot during the day. Don't they say infants sleep a lot? :) Well, he does sometimes...but only in between 2 to 3 hour feedings, throwing frantic fits when his paci falls out*, fusses to let me know he has wet himself or wails simply because he wants to be held.

Trust me, it's all so very worth it. But there are times that I can't even get a shower in until Brian gets home.

I did manage to finally get our holiday cards out. Every year, I question whether I should continue this tradition. I love receiving a Christmas card in the mail just as much as anyone, but seriously, postage costs are ridiculous!

And to think I didn't even send them to my entire family! I have a ginormous family (Dad is one of 11, so it gets quite ridiculous with all the cousins and second cousins).

120 cards, check
120 stamps, check
120 address labels, check
120 return address labels, check

After all this, I was left with a nasty taste in my mouth. Envelope licking is so gross.

I usually use a sponge stick, but mine had dried up:(.

I think it would be funny to watch me on video in an effort to get things done while very carefully holding my child at the same time and trying to keep him from getting upset.

I was tasked with this on Tuesday while trying to bake cookies for a Cookie Exchange party. Hold Carson with left arm, open oven with right, insert cookie tray with right, catch the pacifier before it falls out of his mouth onto the floor with left hand and while leaning backwards, close oven door with right. Seriously, it's quite the task.

But my Chocolate Crinkle cookies came out delicious. I just wish they would grow legs and leave this house so I can get my body back sooner.

The cookie exchange with the girls was just what I needed. A few hours away from baby (I still missed him though!) and a glass of red wine. It was nice to get outta the sweat pants and in to regular clothes. Although, next year, I vote we go back to a scarf exchange. Makes it easier on the muffin top.

Speaking of cookies, check out the awesome new cookie plate I received as a gift from my dear friend Megan!

Isn't it fun? Carson will love leaving cookies for Santa on this plate some day. Until then, you know when he can actually talk and make good eye contact, the plate will sit nicely next to my other fun decorations including my K-State snowman. Love!

A few other additions to the Christmas decor this year. A beautiful personalized ornament (a gift from my BFF Lyndsey) and a stocking for the little booger of course.

Purchased at Pottery Barn Kids. Love it! I had intended to put Carson in the stocking and take a photo to use on our holiday cards, but to my astonishment, the stocking wasn't stretchy and Big Boy didn't fit in it!

I can't believe Christmas is only a little more than a week away. We will be taking our first road trip with Big Boy home to Wichita. Should be an adventure!

What are you doing for the holidays this year?


*Isn't there some invention out there that will keep a paci in an infants mouth? I don't know why he continues to spit it out if it's just going to make him cry. Hmmmmm...

Meet Big Boy

He's here. Our little angel.

The baby we've anticipated arriving for what seems like an eternity.

We've spent months preparing for this moment, the moment we would become parents. 

The moment our lives would forever change.

I'm a mom. 

It's so surreal saying that...and feeling that. I'm somebody's mom. 

I didn't know how it would feel, until now. 

I'm a mommy to the most perfect sweet boy in the world. We are completely smitten and so in love.

We were welcomed by our boy on Thanksgiving Day. Truly a blessing.

A day we will always remember and celebrate.

A turkey baby.

Carson Louis Kutter

November 24, 2011

4:06 pm

9 pounds 5 ounces

20.5 inches

Shawnee Mission Medical Center

We had no idea how big he was. Our once called "Little Man," now referred to as "Big Boy."

The most precious big boy we have ever been so blessed to call ours.

Carson's Birth story:

The day you were born. A day that deserves ten thousand words.

I will write about it here, and cherish the details, and probably embarrass you with it someday. 

But I want you to know, I will remember this day forever.

It was November 16, my due date, and we had an option to induce tomorrow. 

It was scheduled, marked on the calendar and we were ready to welcome you. We were so eager to meet you, and hold you, and snuggle you. 

Then, I got cold feet.  I asked myself:

What if it's not time? Am I rushing him? Should I let him come when he is ready? 

So we decided to let you stay cozy and not rush it, and scheduled a second induction date for the day after Thanksgiving if you weren't to arrive by then. 

Call it mother's instinct, but I just knew you would come when you were ready. 

It was a very normal Wednesday (November 23), the day before the induction. It was a week past your due date. I had the day off, already in preparation of your arrival. And the arrival of all the family. Because the next day was Thanksgiving, and we had planned to feast before we welcomed you into the world.

 I nested like any other soon-to-be mom. Folding little onesies, organizing your closet, making sure your piggy bank was perfectly placed on the window sill in your room.

The room we would soon bring you home to.

Daddy got home around 6:00 and we sat down with a bowl of spicy taco soup around 7:30 joking with each other, "maybe he'll come tonight".

Half way through the spicy soup, I started having contractions. The same ones I had felt a few days before, but then they stopped. These felt the same so I thought nothing of it. 

A few hours later, the contractions were still there and becoming stronger...and closer together.

We still didn't believe it was time. We were so unsure after everything we had learned in our childbirth classes. I didn't want to rush to the hospital and get sent home. 

So we waited.

I took a bath, timed the contractions, and made sure our bags were ready...just in case it really was the real thing. Daddy napped on the couch with Jakey. 

At midnight, I woke Daddy up telling him we needed to think about heading to the hospital. The contractions had been present for 4.5 hours and they were getting painful. They were still a little inconsistent, but I was scared of waiting too long.

We made our way into the hospital hoping it was time. Time to meet you.

 We checked in, got settled into a room, and they checked my progress. I'll never forget when the nurse said I was dilated to a three and that we headed to the hospital at a good time.

What!? We're staying? I'm going to have my baby?

Complete joy flooded our hearts. 

From there, everything seemingly was progressing quickly. The contractions were getting painful so I got the epidural at 5.5 cm and my water broke on its own at six. We made phone calls and sent texts, and tried to contain our excitement.

We were going to become parents today.

  All of a sudden, the progression stalled. I was at 7 cm, and things weren't progressing. We waited and waited and waited for things to happen.

Waiting for you to make your way down.

We tried to sleep, but were way too anxious. I couldn't stop thinking about what we were about to experience. I so badly anticipated the moment they would lay you on my chest once you arrived. 

The moment I would be forever changed.

 After 16 hours of labor, the doctor broke the news. You were sunny side up causing extreme back labor, and the contractions were not strong enough to push you down into the birth canal. 

C-section would be the best option to bring you into the world.

I cried and cried and cried. I don't know why I was so upset, I just was. We had already worked so hard. 

You and me. Together. 

For nothing it felt. 

My heart yearned for that mother-baby moment I wasn't going to have.

 No pushing. No work. No sideline encouragement from Dad.

I wasn't going to experience that special time with you on my chest. 

My heart sank. Until your daddy made me realize what was really important. 

Preparing for you. 

It wasn't going to happen how we envisioned it, but at that moment, we knew we would hold you soon.

 I'll never forget seeing you held up over that curtain.

When Dr. Geidt shouted, "Oh Krista, he's beautiful! Such a big boy! Look at those cheeks!"

Daddy held my hand tightly and we cried together. Tears of happiness. A feeling we had never experienced before.

And when your Daddy brought you over to me. We cried some more.

That moment, my sweet baby, I will never forget.

I will take time to cherish all the little things...the sweet noises you make, the many facial expressions you already have, your beautiful blue eyes looking up at me, your chubby cheeks and the way you wrap your long finger around mine.

And your yawns. And your big brother's reaction to your yawns.

What makes me so lucky to have this beautiful baby?

I can't even explain the feeling. The feeling of being your mom.

Due Date

That's right, I am 40 weeks plus one day today. And still no signs of baby coming. Boo.

Are we ready? You have no idea how ready we both are to have this baby here. The anticipation, waiting, anxiety, excitement, nervousness and elation are beyond their limits.

I've seen his crib empty for too long.
I've smiled as I washed all his clothes and put them away.
I've sat in the glider and rocked dreaming of him here.
I've laid fully awake at night unable to turn my mind off.

It's crazy to think that 40 weeks have come and gone, and he will finally be here no more than a week. 

We had an option to induce tomorrow morning, but decided it was best to not force him. We are going to give it one more week and see what happens. If he doesn't make his debut, by all means, I'm forcing him out!

We might have ourselves a little turkey baby, but as his soon-to-be Uncle Eric put it, "It will be the best Thanksgiving we've had to date!" Love how excited he is.

We're all excited.

But we're not so sure about this guy:

Jake knows something is up. For several months now, he has taken on some new interesting habits:

• Eating toilet paper: He has NEVER done this, but now we will find him pulling toilet paper off the roll or rummaging through the bathroom trashcans.
• Being attached to me: Jake is clearly Brian's dog. Don't get me wrong, I love him and he loves me, but Brian and him have an unexplainable bond. Well, Jake has found a new attachment to his momma.
• Sleeping in the nursery on the comfy white rug: We will find him sleeping in Baby K's room, a room he never used to go in. Maybe he just likes the rug, but I like to think he is excited to protect baby.

Oh, and eating sawdust. When Brian was making the floating shelves for the nursery, we caught him eating sawdust. What!? This dog typically never chews/eats weird things. Sorry Cal, no remotes or thongs for this pup:)!

So the waiting game continues. Hoping to have baby here very soon. My blogging will most definitely be spotty for awhile (who am I kidding, you're already used to that from the past 9 months!), but I'll do my best to post pics and updates.

Na, Nuh, Na, Nuh, Na, Nuh, Na -- Na, Nuh, Na Nuh, Nuh! -- Na Na Na Na Na (to the tune of the Final Jeopardy Round)

Fall Back

Well hello Monday, I mean goodbye Monday.

I meant to post this last night, but couldn't because Time Warner Cable is seriously the worst cable/Internet provider on this earth and can't seem to get ours working correctly or consistently. Will U-Verse please just come to our area? Puh-puh-puh-pleaaaasssseee?

And now, I sit here at work trying to crank out this post because I have been that MIA from this blog (thanks to my friend Mark for reminding me). Did I mention that it's already insanely dark outside?

Makes me moody. And somewhat depressed.

While I appreciated the extra hour of sleep this Sunday AM (but not really because I woke up at the same time), I really dislike how early it gets dark now.

In case you were wondering, Baby K is still nestled all cozy inside my belly and is making no apparent signs of coming early or on time for that matter. I'm hoping to hear some results of progression this week, but mainly I'm just trying to stay positive.

He will come when he is ready. I'm just convinced he's as stubborn as his daddy and will procrastinate as long as he can. Two traits I definitely do not possess:)

So, I don't like "falling back" this time of year, but I definitely enjoy having the fall season back. There is something about this time of year that just makes me smile.

The weather and fashion attire play a part (although my attire* options are slim pickens these days), and most certainly the holidays, but one of my favorite parts is all the flavors and aromas that come with fall cooking, baking and eating.

Here's a few of the things I've been munching or sipping on the last few weeks:

 Source 
M&M's White Chocolate Candy Corn

It's no secret how much I love sweets, I have blogged about it way too many times. These are G-double-O-D-GOOD. White chocolate AND candy corn combined? How could they not be?

Source  
Coffee-mate Pumpkin Spice Creamer
It's not quite comparable to Starbuck's pumpkin spice latte, but it makes for a tasty, festive cup of Joe when you don't feel like spending $4+ on a latte.

Source (photo only)  
Penne with Sweet Pepper Cayenne Sauce
This recipe is a keeper, definitely enjoyed the slightly healthier version of sauce (sour cream vs. something like a heavy cream) and red bell peppers
I modified it a bit. Used penne pasta instead of Fettuccine, added chicken (cubed, then sauteed in a pan with some cajun spice), fat free sour cream and added a zucchini because I had one in the fridge.

Source 
Pumpkin Spice Muffins
I got this recipe from Vanessa's blog and these are EXTREMELY tasty. I was skeptical of only two ingredients, but I will definitely be making them again.

I took her advice and cooked them 25 minutes compared to 12 minutes and they turned out great. I also used some of the excess batter in a mini-muffin pan and they turned out great at 20 minutes baking time.

FYI, I highly recommend them with the cream cheese frosting! Although they are pretty freakin' good without:). Thanks for the recipe Vanessa!

Source 
Lobster Bisque at Capital Grille
We had dinner with the in laws on Saturday night, and the lobster bisque at Capital Grille was AMAZING. Although my step mom, Lori, tells me she thinks her recipe is better. I'll be sure to get it from her and report back:). Don't you just love soup this time of year?

Ok, now that I have made all of you hungry including myself, it's time I get outta here.

I leave you with this hysterical video. I'm sure many of you have already seen it since it was posted all over facebook last week. But by chance someone missed it, it's worth watching. Hilarious. The last kids in the video are my fav.

  Halloween Challenge: I Told My Kids I Ate all Their Halloween Candy

*My feet are starting to swell a bit. I couldn't fit my foot into my favorite pair of riding boots last week with socks on. Boo.

DIY Gift: Framed Monogram Using Washers

I'm not new to the Pinterest craze, I just haven't blogged about it yet.

I didn't quite understand it at first, and needed what I'm sure was an annoyingly detailed explanation from my college-aged summer intern. It was one of the few times I felt somewhat cut off from the world of technology when she said "You haven't heard of Pinterest!?" Did I mention that it also made me feel a little old?

Anyways, I soon found out what the "virtual pinboard" was all about. A place to organize and share all the beautiful, fun, creative, yummy and inspiring things you find on the Web. Utter genius.

So just yesterday, a co-worker, who also is easily distracted by Pinterest, asks me, "Have you actually made or recreated anything you have pinned?"

She was a little surprised when I said yes simply because she hadn't. If I'm going to take the time to scour images and explore my followers pins, then I better find some inspiration to make it my own or do something with them. If we didn't, well, what would be the point?

I've only challenged myself to recreating a couple things, but I will say that I have lots more in the queue for Baby K.

My first Pinterest recreation was a wedding gift for my dear friend Hannah. Hannah and her soul mate didn't deserve an ordinary wedding gift. They eloped in NYC and kept their entire wedding a secret.

That is exactly why I wanted to give them something that was unique, something that represented how smitten they are for each other. These are two special people I tell you.

So, this was my inspiration from Pinterest.

A monogram made out of washers. It just so happens that Hannah's new last name starts with a 'P' too.

Supplies: frame, different sized washers, tacky glue, Monogram letter printed/trimmed to the correct size of paper for your frame, an extra piece of paper at the same size (preferably cardstock or thicker paper), a thumb tack.

First, I placed the printed letter paper on top of the other piece of paper and used the thumb tack to create/trace an outline of the P. I did this on top of an old piece of cork board. A piece of cardboard or foam would work too.

After removing the top piece of paper, the bottom piece reveals the letter traced in small holes.

Then, arrange the washers in the shape of the letter (don't glue any yet). I chose to overlap mine some. Once you have all the washers arranged how you want them, pick them up one by one and glue.

It's a long process, but the final product is totally worth it! I paired the 'P' with a fun print I designed in InDesign and framed in the same frame, just a slightly smaller size.

And now, check out the 'P' in her apartment! I was so happy my inspiration paid off when she told me that the gift fit perfect with the wall of P's she was going to do.

Thanks for the inspiration Pinterest!

Life and Lessons

Hello friends. It's been a crazy week already, but I thought I'd drop a quick post to tell you about the touching email I received from an old friend today.

This is the kind of email that makes you feel blessed. 
Enriched with the simple things. 
Loved. 
Eager for what's to come ahead.

The kind that makes you want to squeeze your loved ones and tell them how much you adore them.

I loved so many of these. 

 And I just love this movie, it makes me smile. Image via Pinterest.

45 Lessons Life Taught Me 

Enjoy. 

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
 
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion.. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time.. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.....

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Nursery Reveal

I'm so excited to finally reveal Baby K's Nursery. It has been a long process of getting everything ready, but I am so happy with the results!

I really hope this baby is a boy. If he came out a girl, we would be in big trouble. I'm not sure she would enjoy cars, sailboats, trains and buses.

Note: You'll have to excuse the lighting on these pics. It was quite gloomy outside when I snapped them and I should have waited until later in the day.

Introducing...Baby K's nursery.

 View from doorway. The walls are more blue than they appear here.

The accent wall Brian worked so hard on for our little man. I'm in love with it. It adds just the right amount of "pop" I was looking for without adding a mural or decals or some of the other popular nursery choices.

Bedding: Transportation themed

The changing pad cover (not pictured above, but will go on the dresser) will have this same pattern.

 I love his musical mobile!

DIY floating shelves crafted by Mr. Kutter himself. I was really impressed with his skillz. He might be the next American Handyman:). Oh, and check out some of the great books we received at my shower. What a great idea to have everyone include a book rather than a card. My friends are so smart!

Yes, his name starts with a C. Any guesses? We aren't really keeping it a secret at all, it just seems more fun to not reveal it on the blog yet. I bought the C monogram at Hobby Lobby for $2, traced it onto scrapbook paper, cut out and spray glued. Easy as can be! This project was shown on YHL. Man, I just love Sherry and John.

Until I get some pictures worthy of framing, I simply framed the words "Our Little Man"

The pillow and blanket my mom made. She is so talented. The bedding set came with a diaper stacker we weren't going to use, so she turned it into a pillow for the glider. This is one of four blankets she made him:)

Extra fabric from the diaper stacker to add to a boring white lamp shade.

 Extra fabric made into curtain ties. Using the awesome Steam-A-Seam...

 I seriously love this stuff. No sewing necessary.

 Simply iron over. I have used this to patch up hems of dress pants that were coming out.

 Window Ledge: More books from the shower and a porcelain car piggy bank from Hobby Lobby I painted.

 The teddy bear bank was Brian's when he was little.

 The oar from the antique store and two framed prints I made. I blurred out his name for now:)

 At the bottom of the print, it says, "C is for CXXXXX"

I tried to match the sailboat to the bedding design.

So there you have it folks. We are almost finished! Now I just need to get all his clothes and blankets washed and get the dresser and closet organized.

Oh and I hope this baby doesn't happen to come early because Brian has to leave town for work for a few days. That would be a horrible situation.

Guess what? Tomorrow is Friday!