"The Day I Stopped Saying 'Hurry Up'"

My cousin posted an article on Facebook last night.
The Day I Stopped Saying 'Hurry Up'

It could not have hit me in the forehead any more head on.

The first paragraph sucked me right in.

When you're living a distracted life, every minute must be accounted for. You feel like you must be checking something off the list, staring at a screen, or rushing off to the next destination. And no matter how many ways you divide your time and attention, no matter how many duties you try and multi-task, there's never enough time in a day to ever catch up.

Dead on.
After my post yesterday, I could have sworn this article was written for me.

The story about the little girl, the message, the lesson. I loved it from top to bottom.
It really inspired me. And made me think.
And confirmed I need to make an effort to change some things.

While my problems are more associated with the organization of my life and less with rushing my child, the part about lists, multitasking, rushing through life and never catching up couldn't be more true.

The last line really got me.

I will not say, "We don't have time for this." Because that is basically saying, "We don't have time to live."

Ya know, it's funny how certain things happen at just the right time. This article, popping up in my news feed on a day I was feeling so frenzied and exhausted with my lengthy list of to dos.

Just last week, Brian and I argued (yes, we argue) about balancing time at work and time with family.
Do we do a decent job of balancing? Well, yes. 
But could we do better? Of course.

We really struggle during the week and simply can't find something that works for us. And our baby is almost two years old. I swore we would have it figured out by now, but we don't.

Getting home close to 6:00 makes for a hungry toddler and those two hours every night for five days straight are really, really tough.

Monday through Friday, and that two hour nightly routine brings out the worst in all three of us.

I hate it.

And I realized it last Friday when something spoke to me.
Something in my head told me to be spontaneous.
Leave work right now, go run an errand for myself, pick up Carson early and go to the pool.
Make time to relax. Time to be spontaneous. Enjoy time with your family.

It's pretty uncharacteristic of Brian and I to leave work early on a whim.
And that's the part we argued about. He needed to work, I wanted him to leave to join us.

I prayed that night for guidance. Help with finding ways to slow down, finding ways to make more quality time, and help with controlling my feelings of getting things done.

This life of chaos is our new normal, at least for now. And although it's messy a lot of the time, it's extremely beautiful. To put it simply, I just need to learn to let go every now and then. BOOM. Just let go.

While some of my personal characteristics and imperfections will never change, I can find ways to be more spontaneous, carefree and stop being so critical of perfecting every single thing in my life.

I want my family to enjoy the best parts about me. Not the frenzied, over-analyzing part that makes me want to hide sometimes.

...things taste sweeter and love comes easier when you stop rushing through life.

Find time this weekend to be spontaneous my friends. Happy Friday.

 TOP | beer during bath + stinker face | Good Company antique store | enjoying the new play set

MIDDLE | peek-a-boo | floatin' and relaxin' | so proud. meanwhile, mom is hyperventilating

BOTTOM | the fish light switch covers win | pool time | toddler in adult shoes + the best dog ever

Problems

If I said we were settled in the new home, I'd be lying.
We've been scrambling every single night,
and staying up WAY too late in an attempt to get our home in order.

Unpacking, organizing, contemplating, rearranging, arguing.
You know...all the joys that come with moving into a new house. 

Sure, we have all the necessities put away.
But we're talking about an over-analyzing, nag-the-husband, perfection-seeking, want-everything-done-right-now human being.
I have no clue who would act like that.

I can't stand having my life out of whack.
The same reason why I can't handle one thing in my house being out of place.

Let me give you a little insight.

I can't go to bed with dishes in the sink.
Clothes are never lingering outside of my closet/dresser.
I pick up my house every night so that the little things don't pile up.
If Carson's clothes aren't laid out for the next day, I consider myself behind.
I can't sleep if things aren't "in order."

Y'all. I'm anal. A fast-paced, organized freak. A perfectionist. A worry wart about the details.

So, when I tell you that I still have unpacked boxes in the basement,
and things not hung on the walls,
TV remotes not programmed correctly,
and garage tools still laying on my kitchen island,
dust bunnies, and cabinets, and bathrooms, and blinds that have yet to cleaned,
and Carson's toys everywhere,
just know that I.am.going.absolutely.bonkers.

However, we do have one amazing kitchen (more to come on that). Finally.

But, we still don't have a kitchen table. I just cringed.

Oh! In other exciting news (not), Carson is now climbing out of his crib. How fun.

20 Months

My sweet boy.
My germ-infested, dirt loving, rambunctious, destructive all-boy of a child.
How are you 20 months old?

You are so ornery.
And you are most definiltey spoiled.
Which I said would never happen.

You scream or whine if we don't do it your way.
And you can be really, really gross.
But I love you more every single day.

Even when you head butt me.
Or smack me in the face.
Or throw a toy at me.
You even think it's funny to kick sometimes.

We are doing our best as parents.
To discipline you. And tell you no.
You despise going in timeout.
We want you to be a good boy.
And you are, mostly. 

You have a sweet side that melts my heart.
Especially when you say "Ahh luh ooo"
And you still give open-mouth kisses. 
You go in phases of preferring mama over daddy, or vice versa.
But, let's be real, we all know you're a mama's boy.

Your favorite things are shoes, hats, cars, bikes and lawnmowers.
More like obsessions.

You wear your hat 24/7 when at home. Seriously.
We can't pass the riding mowers at Lowe's without you yelping "mowwwww!"

You are talking so much now.
Our favorite game is saying all our friends names at school.
Lainey, Mallory, Alex, Grady, Logan, Jack and Miller.
And Ms. Patty and Ms. Heather, of course.
I love it when you point all of them out to me when walking in the room.
It's just the cutest. You talking.

You're still obsessed with the book Go Dog, Go!
We took a 2-week hiatus, but you're back to requesting it. "Go Go!"
Another bedtime fave is looking at photo albums.
You can point out Nana, Gammy and cousin Maddie.

Kid, you finally ate ice cream and requested more!
We've only been trying for eight months.
I was beginning to question if you were my child.

Speaking of food, you're still a good eater.
Still love you some fruits.
You've tried a lot more junk food in the past few months.
So if you see a bag of chips laying out, or any snack for that matter,
We better be ready to give in or fight back.

It's not abnormal for you to have bruises.
In fact, your legs are constantly covered in them.
You have no fear, kid.
And are constantly falling down, being too adventurous, and testing the limits.
Only now, you like for mama and daddy to kiss your boo-boos.
"Do you want me to kiss it?"
"Yeeeah" (in the most pathetic voice ever)
I swoon every time.

Working full-time makes things really busy around our house.
And most times, I struggle to even get dinner on the table.
Our entire house is never clean all at the same time.
And nights with you are never long enough.

Baby, you take every single ounce of my energy.
And sometimes I lose my patience.
But, that smile, and sweet little laugh makes it all worth.
So very worth it.

You are everything to us, sweet Carson.
Big Boy. C. Stinker. Stinky. Stinks.
I promise we don't really think you stink.