Four.

Four years ago today, I married my better half.

The one who keeps me grounded. The one who makes me laugh. But, mostly the one who was crazy enough to marry me.

It was a crisp, fall day in November, and I was ready.

Ready to embrace everything that day meant. 

I was ready to say I do.

I was ready to be a wife.

I was ready to give up being selfish.

I was ready to share.

I was ready to compromise.

I was ready to grow old together.

I was ready to become one.

I was ready. 

I'll never forget that day...when I walked down the aisle towards my groom, seeing him for the first time that day.

It was such a special, sacred moment I will cherish forever.

As I neared closer, walking towards him, I realized his eyes were filled with tears. We locked stares as everything around us faded out. Nothing else mattered.

That one moment represented so much emotion and confirmation for me.

Because at that moment, I knew he was ready too.

It's been four years since that day. Consumed by good days, bad days, challenging days and blissful days.

We were both ready for the experience, the memories, the unforgettable moments, the storms, the roller coasters. Ready for all that comes with marriage.

But I wasn't ready for today. Or yesterday. Or the past 11 months. Not ready at all.

I wasn't ready for the shock of creating a human being together. 

I'm still amazed we created him.

I wasn't ready for the first time Carson looked into my eyes.

What is this feeling? I've never felt this before.

I wasn't ready for the feeling of being a mom.

Nor to cry at every little thing, even commercials.

I wasn't ready to share parenthood.

It's brought us closer than ever.

I wasn't ready for this unexplainable feeling of having a son together. 

The greatest gift.

On that day four years ago, I knew we would start a family someday, but I wasn't ready for all this.

This, being the most honest, humbling, self sacrificing emotions I have ever felt.

I wasn't ready because it's something I couldn't be ready for. It's something I had to experience, embrace and endure with my husband before I truly understood it.

And because of him, and that precious child we created together, I now get it. And it's the best feeling in the world.

Happy Anniversary, Brian.

I can't think of a title.

Wow, what a weekend.

Saturday was the day the Cats and the Chiefs pulled off epic wins. I had faith in my wildcats, but to be completely honest, I had lost all faith in the Chiefs.

Carson also had his first ever sleepover. With a girl. It may have only been for a few hours while we finished watching the game at a friend's house, but nonetheless, his first sleepover.

Don't worry, we were responsible parents and made them sleep in separate pac-n-plays. He's not allowed to spoon just yet.

It took forever to get the little monster to go down. He just didn't want to stop partying, and I guess he somehow knew the Cats would pull off a smackdown of the Sooners.

It was such an exciting game to watch. And I'm so proud to be a Wildcat.

*************************************************************************************************************************

Last Wednesday, I got home before the boys so I called the husband to see if he could stop and get something at the store on his way home. No answer. I called again ten minutes later. No answer. 

I don't even know why my husband has a cell phone. He seriously never answers my calls. Anyone else have this problem? Please say I'm not the only one.

Anyways, he gets home as I tell him he can fend for himself for dinner. No answer meant a missing ingredient for the new recipe I had planned to try. "I'm sorry, my phone was on silent."

So we go about our nightly routine...he fixes himself a PB&J (Yep, I'm that serious) and then looks me square in the eyes and says, "Honey, I have something to confess and I need to get it off my chest."

I really had no idea what he was going to say, but I had an idea it had something to do with him not answering his phone. I thought of a thousand silly things at that moment. Did he forget to pick up Carson and had to turn around? Did he get in trouble at work? Did he run into an old girlfriend? Hell, I didn't know.

It's funny how the priority order in my thought process has changed...Carson comes first, then how to provide for Carson, then marriage. I know, it's backwards, but that's a whole other post for discussion.

So, I look at him and don't say anything. I gave the look of, "Just tell me. What did you do?" He lets out a sigh and says he got a speeding ticket on the way home.

No big deal, right? Right. I wasn't mad at all. Shit happens. In fact, I was relieved. Relieved it wasn't any of the other things that popped into my head before he spilled the beans. I wasn't pleased that he got caught in a speed trap in which he knows better, but secretly, I was sort of happy he got a ticket.

If you know my husband, he's the world's best driver. He's only had a "few tickets in life" and "has never been in a wreck other than that one time." He is the smartest, most "efficient" driver on the road and everyone else is just stupid. Just ask him, he'll tell you.

There's just that little tidbit that always gets me, his road rage. He's more patient than me by a long shot, but when it comes to driving, he's aggressive and impatient. Even though we will most likely arrive at the same time, he makes getting there stressful because he gets so angry.

So, I'm hoping this ticket made him think about his driving habits (Babe, are you reading this?) And I am happy he decided to tell me. Even if it hurt his driver pride just a little.

For the record, Brian is a good driver. And he's safe. I'm always the passenger and he's always the driver. If his driving was that bad, he wouldn't have the privilege of driving around a hot blonde so often.

Clearly, I'm talking about Carson.

Cheap Date

Dinner and drinks on the deck is just the same as it always has been. 

The only difference is the addition of a new guest. 

He's a pretty entertaining guest, so we'll keep him around.

Steak, sautéed shrooms, corn on the cob and wine. Let's just say I'm more than satisfied.

Like that wine charm? Make one yourself! 

Jake is pretty satisfied too.

Because once the little guy goes to bed, the drinking continues on the deck and it's his turn to soak up some love.

The next thing we know, me and the hubs are drunk.

Because we can't hang quite like we used to.

As we're headed to bed, Brian says, "Do we have any Pedialyte*? I'm drunk."

And that folks, is evidence that an almost 30-year old and his cheap date can't hang anymore.

*The husband has a friend who swears by drinking Pedialyte before going to bed after a night of drinking. Apparently, it ensures you won't have a hangover.

Just Barely

I keep telling myself that I am barely succeeding at being a mom. My mornings are quite the adventure.

Even with all the prep at night...bathing, washing and filling bottles, packing my lunch and Carson's school bag, and prepping the coffee maker), I still manage to have something go wrong.

Two days ago, in the midst of trying to accomplish my new morning ritual, (wake up, shower and get ready, feed Jake, wake up Carson, feed him, change into dress clothes, brew coffee, eat breakfast and somehow manage to get out the door), I experienced "working mom syndrome" at its finest.

I pranced into the kitchen eager to brew my daily cup of coffee. I was a coffee drinker before the little monkey, but I'd say my desire for it has changed.

It's no longer something I want, it's something I need.

Since I am now the epitome of an organized mom {insert sarcasm}, I prepare my coffee the night before, so all I have to do is simply press the button on the Keurig maker and walk away hoping to come back to a nicely fresh cup of joe.

So here I am that morning, thinking I'm doing pretty good with time. Let's face it, I walked into work after 8:00 four out of the five days last week. As I go back for my coffee, I realize I made a huge mistake.

I forgot to put a coffee mug under the spout.

All. Over. The. Counter.

And the floor. And the side of the cabinet, where I can't clean because the fridge is there.

Like I said, Mommy Syndrome at its best. Other episodes this week include forgetting some bags at the grocery store, forgetting to check Carson out at daycare (electronic system), living in dirt because it has been that long since I have cleaned my house, and showing up to work with spit up on my dress clothes.

But, the truth is, I love my life. I love my chaotic, crazy, busy, just barely succeeding life.

Because all that matters is that this little booger stays happy and healthy.

He just lights up my world. And always reminds me of Daddy.

Like in this picture, all I see is my hubby. Good thing he is a cutie.

Daddy is home this weekend. YAY! We picked up Big Boy from school early and spent the day together. I'm thankful for dual parenting again:).

Happy Friday! 

Carson is down for the night, so we are drinking wine and watching Crazy, Stupid, Love.

Enjoy your weekend blog friends.

Love Day

Brian and I spent Carson's first Valentine's Day apart, but it didn't mean me and the little man didn't think about him on love day.

We don't really celebrate V-day, other than card exchanges and a heart shaped dinner like last year:), but I thought it was only fitting to try and do something special for him. Something that would really make him smile.

Nothing makes him smile more than his sweet boy.

Here's the card we sent him.

Ordered from Tiny Prints. Love that site.

Getting the monkeys together for an impromptu photo shoot was an adventure. I've gotten really good at making stupid noises and faces to get him to smile. I was hoping Carson would hold the sign since he recently discovered his hanging toys. Luckily, I caught Carson at a great time and was able to capture some great shots.

Man, do you really learn to appreciate your better half when you are away from them.

Daddy loved his card. And the picture collage we made for him to take back to Canada. He's home this weekend, so we are soaking up lots of love.

Have a great weekend!

Kidnapped

I failed to mention in my last post that we Brian accomplished absolutely nothing yesterday. To be exact, he sat on the couch ALL day long and did nothing but think about how crappy he felt.

Why do you ask? Well, because he got "kidnapped" by his guy friends Saturday night.

Two of the guys are soon-to-be dads, so they came up with the brilliant idea to have a "kidnapping." Brian thought we were going to the Reichles for a BBQ and needed to head over early to help Cole move the new grill up onto the raised deck. Little did he know that he was about to hit the town sporting this t-shirt:

I'm not sure where Cole found this image and who worked their photoshop magic, but I about died laughing when he sent this to me. Our friend Ryan is on the left who is having a girl in September. My Better Half is on the right. I love his little red leather jacket!

I hear the boys had a blast. They even received shot glasses that looked like bottles from our friend Josh to take shots out of.  (This was before they busted out the t-shirts.)

Just what these almost 30-year old boys need.

From the way Brian looked all day Sunday, I think he could have done without the shots!

Me and some of the girls decided to have our own crazy party and go out to dinner at Yardhouse. And Ado and I devised a plan to have a post-pregnancy Girls Night. Don't worry boys, you don't get to have all the fun. Party planning is already in progress.

Brian was super surprised and extremely flattered by everyone that made it out. I have a feeling this will become a tradition any time there is a soon-to-be dad in the group.

To sum up just how good his night was, I'll let y'all know that I received a picture from him about 11:00 pm with the subject line, "Baby Daddy."

It's certainly one I will frame and include in the nursery. Baby K will be so proud.

Winning Gets You This

We had a great date night, thanks to winning at last year's KSU Wabash Cannonball. Although it seemed a little strange staying in a hotel just 20 min. from our house and finding a babysitter for our fur baby (Thanks Matt & Heather!), it's an ideal way to get away from the daily grind.

Away from laundry, dishes, miscellaneous house projects and our ADD dog, it was just the two of us. And it was nice.

Our plan was to enjoy the Crown Center area before dinner and walk around amidst the sun shining. Welp, the lovely rain ruined it for us, so we made do with what Mother Nature provided.

First on the list was checking in, cashing in our complimentary night's stay at the Westin. Well, the hubs just so happened to forget his wedding ring (went golfing on Friday and left it in his golf bag), so he didn't have it on. We joked for the rest of the night how the front desk staff probably thought we were on a secretive affair getaway. But then again, there are tons of guys who don't wear their wedding rings (my dad is one). I don't think I would be ok with Brian not wearing his. :)

Our room was great. I know it's just a typical hotel room, but it was nice. The bed was comfortable (I'm pretty picky when it comes to this) and we had a spectacular view of Liberty Memorial.

From our balcony

I couldn't believe people were swimming. Heated pool of course, but still, it was quite nippy outside!

For the first hour, we walked around Crown Center, browsing the shops. I have actually never spent much time in Crown Center in the almost 4 years I have lived here.

Holy cow, it's a kid factory!

I can definitely see why parents bring their children here...I was drooling over every sweet smell that came out out of Chip's Chocolate Factory, Topsy's, Sheridan's, and the Crayola Cafe. It's a for sure way to keep a kid occupied...or a 27-year old sweets addict. I was craving a piece of fudge, a strawberry concrete, chocolate covered popcorn and a root beer float all at the same time. All things I can't have until Lent is over, boo.

Next, we jumped in the car to head to Liberty Memorial. We would have loved to walk, but I didn't have an umbrella, and it was pouring. Which is why we didn't even step foot out of the car. Oh well, another day.

Next stop, Jack Stack for dinner. We planned to go to Skies and utilize the amazing deal offered on Restaurant.com, but the earliest reservation available was 9:30 pm! So, we opted for Jack Stack and used a $50 gift card I recently received for being Volunteer of the Year for a marketing organization I am involved in.

I'm not as big of fan as BBQ as the hubs is, but Jack Stack is one of my favorite BBQ places when I'm in the mood for it. I love the cheesy corn. And we had the jumbo shrimp as an appetizer, which was quite delicious.

Next stop, The Cashew to watch the game. I don't know how we managed to be the only KSU fans in the entire bar, but we did. I know The Cashew is a KU bar, but seriously, I didn't think we would be surrounded by Wisconsin fans. C'mon people, you live in Kansas! Support a local team!

The game didn't end in our favor, but I'm forever proud to be a Wildcat. Pullen and Kelly deserve a lot of credit for our success this year.

Night shot from our room

Sunday, we woke up in utter darkness (gotta love thick hotel curtains) and dodged our normal 5:30 wake up call from Jake. Yes, our dog wakes up at 5:30 every single day. Even on weekends.

We finished off our stay at the Westin with a complimentary breakfast at their restaurant, The Brasserie. We had $50 to spend and we didn't even come close. Brian had the buffet while I opted for blueberry buttermilk pancakes and a strawberry fruit smoothie. Yummy! What a great way to start the day.

Lastly, we headed to the gold dome for church downtown, AKA, the Cathedral of Immaculate Conception. I love this church, I always have. The only dislike we had was that the sound wasn't great resulting in a hard to understand priest. In fact, he was screaming into his mic during the homily at some points, which didn't make it any easier.

That concludes our almost entirely free date night. Score!

Gotta love winning.

What did you do this weekend?   

Rumble Strip Ready

Next week, we are headed to the Mile High City. And by "headed", I mean road trippin' it.

Flying was tempting, we mulled it over. But once we factored in a car rental, it was a no-brainer to make the decision to spend 18 hours in the car with My Better Half.

Thank goodness he likes to drive. Cars put me to sleep. Plop me in the passenger seat and couple it with warm sunshine beaming in the window and I'm as good as a piece of kale on a dinner plate.

I'm not a good co-pilot, navigator or car companion. That's just how I roll. Sorry babe, I won't get mad when you purposely swerve to hit the rumble strips to wake me up.

Boy, do we have a lot of people to see on this trip. Not only do we have 12 family members who live in the Denver area, we both have very close friends who also reside there. Including none other than my bestie that just recently made the move from KC.

Source

We will ski Copper Mountain for two days, and spend the other two days with friends and family in Denver. Since everyone raves about the Washington Park area, we thought we would hit up the area for a dinner date with friends. Any suggestions all you Denverites?

So, aside from lots of eating, drinking, catching up and being sore as hell from utilizing muscles I haven't used since 2009, the Mr. thinks we will be house hunting (he loves Denver, like would go in a heartbeat kinda love). He was joking of course, but he did request it to be on the itinerary.

This is also coming from the guy who said he was retiring his snowboard and sticking to skis after his injury four years ago. Do you think he honored his words?

Nope, he's rocked the snowboard every year after his fall. And again, he's talking about ditching the board for this trip. I think his exact words were, "This old man can't handle it anymore."

Old or not, I know my man. Once he realizes the other guys going with us are boarding, he won't be able to forgo the board. And he won't admit it, but he thinks boarders are better eye candy than skiers.

But what he doesn't realize is that a snow hat perfectly covers up his culdesacs*. Completely disguising his age. So either way, he'll look hot.

I'll be sure to report back what accompanies me this trip: Babe on Board or Sexy Time on Skis.

*Culdesacs is the nickname we use for the hub's receding hairline.

Oh Happy {Heart} Day!

Happy HEART day everyone!

I'm not much of a Valentine's Day person, as evident here, but everyone deserves a little love. It doesn't necessarily need to be on a particular day of the year for me, but I'll go with it.

Me and the Mr. have never done much to celebrate this day, but we did incorporate the signature V-day symbol in our meals for the past few days. Ok, not Brian, just me:).

I'm a sucker for love. And for practicing my photog skills on my food. If I only had a better subject than food and my dog. Someday.

Dinner on Friday night. Chicken with vegetables on the grill. Mmm...sweet potatoes.

Saturday night dinner: Heart shaped spinach and feta turkey burgers.

One of my favs about Valentine's Day. Conversation hearts.

Tonight, we cooked dinner together, one of Pioneer Woman's recipes. Three Cheese Stuffed Shells. Pair any pasta with cheese and basil and call it a day. They were super yummy.

 I didn't take too many pics of the entire recipe, because PW's are much better. You can check them out here.

Pasta, the key to my heart.

Dinner wouldn't be complete without wine, of course.

 Cabernet Sauvignon, delish.

We always exchange cards, trying to find the most fitting card for each other. He was spot on this year. I have saved each and every card we have ever exchanged. Someday, when we are old and wrinkly, we will rummage through the box of cards and get a good laugh.

One of the many names I like to call Brian. Somewhere along the lines, he caught on. :) 

And I couldn't forget dessert. Only Brian's fav: Lemon Bars. I pulled this powdered sugar stencil trick also off PW's blog.

Love. Love. Love.

And now, it's half time of the KSU vs. KU game and we are winning. Did you just hear what I said?

We are winning! All I can do from allowing my emotions to rip out of my skin is sit here and blog and try to stay calm. It would seriously be the best V-day present ever.

{Fast forward 1 hour}

OMG! We just won! I can't believe it! What a great ending to Valentine's Day!

Well peeps, I think I might have just changed my mind how I truly feel about this holiday.

Happy heart day to all my fabulous readers! Mine is filled with EXCITEMENT!