"The Day I Stopped Saying 'Hurry Up'"

My cousin posted an article on Facebook last night.
The Day I Stopped Saying 'Hurry Up'

It could not have hit me in the forehead any more head on.

The first paragraph sucked me right in.

When you're living a distracted life, every minute must be accounted for. You feel like you must be checking something off the list, staring at a screen, or rushing off to the next destination. And no matter how many ways you divide your time and attention, no matter how many duties you try and multi-task, there's never enough time in a day to ever catch up.

Dead on.
After my post yesterday, I could have sworn this article was written for me.

The story about the little girl, the message, the lesson. I loved it from top to bottom.
It really inspired me. And made me think.
And confirmed I need to make an effort to change some things.

While my problems are more associated with the organization of my life and less with rushing my child, the part about lists, multitasking, rushing through life and never catching up couldn't be more true.

The last line really got me.

I will not say, "We don't have time for this." Because that is basically saying, "We don't have time to live."

Ya know, it's funny how certain things happen at just the right time. This article, popping up in my news feed on a day I was feeling so frenzied and exhausted with my lengthy list of to dos.

Just last week, Brian and I argued (yes, we argue) about balancing time at work and time with family.
Do we do a decent job of balancing? Well, yes. 
But could we do better? Of course.

We really struggle during the week and simply can't find something that works for us. And our baby is almost two years old. I swore we would have it figured out by now, but we don't.

Getting home close to 6:00 makes for a hungry toddler and those two hours every night for five days straight are really, really tough.

Monday through Friday, and that two hour nightly routine brings out the worst in all three of us.

I hate it.

And I realized it last Friday when something spoke to me.
Something in my head told me to be spontaneous.
Leave work right now, go run an errand for myself, pick up Carson early and go to the pool.
Make time to relax. Time to be spontaneous. Enjoy time with your family.

It's pretty uncharacteristic of Brian and I to leave work early on a whim.
And that's the part we argued about. He needed to work, I wanted him to leave to join us.

I prayed that night for guidance. Help with finding ways to slow down, finding ways to make more quality time, and help with controlling my feelings of getting things done.

This life of chaos is our new normal, at least for now. And although it's messy a lot of the time, it's extremely beautiful. To put it simply, I just need to learn to let go every now and then. BOOM. Just let go.

While some of my personal characteristics and imperfections will never change, I can find ways to be more spontaneous, carefree and stop being so critical of perfecting every single thing in my life.

I want my family to enjoy the best parts about me. Not the frenzied, over-analyzing part that makes me want to hide sometimes.

...things taste sweeter and love comes easier when you stop rushing through life.

Find time this weekend to be spontaneous my friends. Happy Friday.

 TOP | beer during bath + stinker face | Good Company antique store | enjoying the new play set

MIDDLE | peek-a-boo | floatin' and relaxin' | so proud. meanwhile, mom is hyperventilating

BOTTOM | the fish light switch covers win | pool time | toddler in adult shoes + the best dog ever

Problems

If I said we were settled in the new home, I'd be lying.
We've been scrambling every single night,
and staying up WAY too late in an attempt to get our home in order.

Unpacking, organizing, contemplating, rearranging, arguing.
You know...all the joys that come with moving into a new house. 

Sure, we have all the necessities put away.
But we're talking about an over-analyzing, nag-the-husband, perfection-seeking, want-everything-done-right-now human being.
I have no clue who would act like that.

I can't stand having my life out of whack.
The same reason why I can't handle one thing in my house being out of place.

Let me give you a little insight.

I can't go to bed with dishes in the sink.
Clothes are never lingering outside of my closet/dresser.
I pick up my house every night so that the little things don't pile up.
If Carson's clothes aren't laid out for the next day, I consider myself behind.
I can't sleep if things aren't "in order."

Y'all. I'm anal. A fast-paced, organized freak. A perfectionist. A worry wart about the details.

So, when I tell you that I still have unpacked boxes in the basement,
and things not hung on the walls,
TV remotes not programmed correctly,
and garage tools still laying on my kitchen island,
dust bunnies, and cabinets, and bathrooms, and blinds that have yet to cleaned,
and Carson's toys everywhere,
just know that I.am.going.absolutely.bonkers.

However, we do have one amazing kitchen (more to come on that). Finally.

But, we still don't have a kitchen table. I just cringed.

Oh! In other exciting news (not), Carson is now climbing out of his crib. How fun.

Eight Regrets

This is the time of year for resolutions. The start of a new year to better yourself and change bad habits. Well, I've never really been a resolution type of person. I never stick to them for any notable amount of time and my list is always way longer than I can handle.

So rather, let's talk about regrets. Not that I think anyone should have any, but a recent convo with friends made this post seem worthy. Sounds kinda negative, doesn't it? Well yes, but with these regrets, will come a positive goal or something I will strive for. Not necessarily something I will change about my life or make happen this year, but things I want to shoot for in the future.

First things first. I am a firm believer in "everything happens for a reason." Take chances, make spontaneous decisions, live adventurously, regret nothing, blah blah blah.

But really, I truly believe that everything we endure or experience is a moment in life we were meant to live. It's all of these life lessons and experiences that mold us into the people we are.

Ok, cut the cheesy crap. What things in life do you regret? Something years ago, something yesterday? Maybe something big, maybe something small?

Whatever it is, there's got to be something you wish might have happened differently, something you didn't give up, or something you would change if you could.

With that said, I thought I would share some of mine.

1. Giving up piano lessons
Yep, I took piano lessons for several years. And I gave it up. Because at the time...boys, cheerleading and shopping with my friends at Claire's was more important. What was I thinking!? I would give anything to be a piano playing diva today.

My momma was a piano player, and still can play well. In fact, we used to play Fur Elise together. I would watch her use the pedals as she played the harder part. I thought it was the coolest thing ever.

Goal: Let's be real, I'm not going to pick back up piano lessons any time soon or anything, so my musically-related goal is to sing at church. And sing well. This might sound really dumb to some of you, but it's my goal. I don't typically make much of an effort to open the book and join along in the songs, so now I will. 

2. Staying close with old friends
I think everyone experiences this at one time or another in their life. My situation happens to be with my high school friends. Don't get me wrong, I love my college friends who have become the best friends I could ever ask for, but it doesn't make me miss some of my hs friends any less. I know there will always be people that come in and out of our lives, but I really miss some of them and the times we shared.

Goal: Make trips back to Wichita not just to see the fam. Make time for lunch, coffee and visits with my fav Ta-town peeps.

3. Living out-of-house my junior year
Although I had a blast being one of the girls with an "out-of-house," the keg parties and beer-stocked refrigerator just wasn't enough for me to keep this one off my list.

I will never forget my sophomore year of college. The year I lived in. The year I shared everything with my sisters. My best friends.

Blue hall. Hampsters. Hanging out in the Blue Lou. Watching The Bachelor in the Rec room. Water balloon fight with the house boys from the study room, Louise & Zaneida. The choo choo skit and being a Chi-O rocker. Class drop offs because we were too lazy to walk. Snow ball fight at ATO. Bursting. Phone & Door. Sneaking in the kitchen late at night because we had the munchies. Date parties. Test files. Fish bowls at Fats. Flip cup tourneys. That wretched blue bathroom. Getting on the speaker and yelling obscenities. Talking about Omega Men. Waking up next to my girlfriends to talk about what happened the night before.

And that's not even half of the memories. The memories that will never be forgotten.

Goal: Give back to the Chi-O house by donating $$. It's only necessary for how much it has given me.

4. Zig zag part
Yes, I had a zig zag part my senior year of high school and freshman year of college. Again, what was I thinking!? I thought it was cool. Something I will never live down. LOL.

No goal for this one:) This was just for fun.

5. The way I treated my parents as a teen
This one is really hard for me to admit and talk about. Simply because I am so embarrassed by the way I acted and treated my mother and father when I was a sassy, know-it-all, rude brat of a teenager. Even worse, my hs friends witnessed my horrible actions on occasion.

I swear, if I am given a little girl someday, and she is even half of the bitch I was, I'll take it. Because I deserve it. I'm sure I won't like it, but oh do I deserve it. I love you mom and dad. You have given me so much and I am so thankful for you. Sorry for what I put you through.

Goal: Do something big for my parents. Like take them on a vacation or something. I don't have the money for this now, but someday I will. I vow to do something really nice for them.

6. Lack of faith during college
I think about this one a lot. I'm sure others have fallen victim to it as well, but it's no excuse. One year at K-State, I think I only went for Ash Wednesday, Christmas and Easter. I was a terrible catholic.

Goal: I think this will continue to be a goal of mine until the day I die. Go to mass every week! No excuses!

7. Moving to Denver
Another one that is really hard for me to admit. And probably even harder for my hubby to hear. But he already knows how I feel about it.

When Brian graduated a semester before me, he really wanted to move to Denver. He had three interviews in Denver and one in KC. He chose KC because of me. We weren't engaged at the time, but he knew I wanted to stay close to family. I didn't pressure him into choosing and I would have followed him to the mountains, but he stayed because he knew it's what I wanted more. Brian, if you're reading, I love you.

Goal: Live in Denver someday. I'm bound to make it happen for my hubby.

8. The Rest
For all the other things I did that I regret. Missing out on a family trip because something else was more important at the time, not being nice to all my classmates in high school, allowing myself to get peer pressured into doing things I shouldn't have, dating a psycho in hs (I'm not kidding), The Goodnight Line (you know who you are!), for all the times I made someone feel unappreciated, when I didn't accomplish things I know I could have.

There are many more regrets I could add to this, but I'll keep the rest to myself:).

Goal: Be a better person. And take the time to tell people I love them. Simple as that.

What are your regrets or things you would change? Think about them and write them down. It really does inspire you to be a better person. Happy Hump Day!

The Ugly Truth

I start sentences with the word "and". I use the word "like" when I talk. I sometimes have spastic outbursts where my husband asks 'who are you?'. I frequently dance when nobody is watching. I always over analyze and worry. I am extremely gullible. I'm not very laid back. I like to plan everything. I'm pretty blunt and will tell you what I think. And I do a lot of things that people might not understand.

I also watch reality TV.

Like, a lot of it.

It's the truth and I don't try to hide it. Honestly, there probably aren't too many reality TV shows I don't watch. I love the drama, the craziness, the crying, the fighting, the immaturity and everything else that comes with it.

I just can't help it. I can't pull myself away from watching these overly addictive programs.

So, I thought it would be appropriate to blog about the upcoming, newest reality TV show to hit your screen Aug. 9. I will definitely be watching.

It looks freakin' awesome!

The Bachelor Pad

Nineteen of the most unforgettable former contestants reunite in the Bachelor mansion to compete for $250,000 and perhaps a second chance at love (errr, yeah right).

Each week, they'll square off in head-to-head challenges to compete for immunity and the opportunity to go on a date with the contestant of their choice. The winner of the challenge will then grant immunity to one of his or her dates via the presentation of a rose (so original).

At the end of each episode, the contestants will vote amongst themselves to determine which cast members will be eliminated from the competition.
 
Multiple crazies are returning including Michelle from Jake's season and Wes from Jillian's season. There are also some other well-knowns including Jake himself (boo), the Weatherman, Tenley, Gia and Kipton, just to name a few.
 
I'm sure it will packed full of drama and excitement, excessive hook ups, emotional roller-coaster outbursts, backstabbing and let's not forget...falling in love.
 
Thanks ABC, just another one to add to the list.

Daily Imperfections

Recent conversations with some friends inspired me to do this post. There are numerous things in all of our lives that we need to be better at. I have been thinking about this a lot lately and what I need to change, so here goes.

Some are small and easy, others are more difficult. But, the matter is, each and every one of them is important; and things I feel I need to improve upon. Maybe this will inspire some of you to work on daily imperfections.

Far from Water Logged

We all know how important it is to drink water. Eight glasses, 64 fluid ounces or 1.89 liters per day. According to the US Environmental Protection Agency, the average adult actually ingests 2 liters a day. Well, I feel that I am FAR from 2 liters per day. Aside from my food intake, the actual water I drink is maybe 3 glasses a day. I know, it's horrible. I just hate drinking tons of water at work because it causes me to live in the bathroom! I guess I just need to get over it and deal with my small bladder.

I'm happy to report that I started making an effort today by taking a large plastic bottle (like a Nalgene) to work. I am now on my third refill. That's more than 64 fluid ounces! Woo-hoo for me! Thanks to Heather for telling me I needed to do that! I have also found that when using a straw, I drink a lot faster and a ton more.

No More Excuses
Brian and I seem to come up with lots of excuses for not going to church. We were out of town, we had stuff to do around the house, we were hanging out with friends, we were out too late the night before...you name it, we've exhausted all of them. It's time that we stopped making excuses. Church is one hour, once a week. Don't get me wrong, we are pretty good about going, I just feel the times that we don't, our excuses aren't good enough.

Grab a Book

I wish I was more of a reader. But in reality, I'm just not. I was the student in high school who read the CliffsNotes for book reports rather than reading the actual book, or I would just watch the movie. Yep, I was that kid. I did read all of the Twilight books and just a few others within the past two years or so, but haven't really dabbled in much else. If I could just find the right book that holds my interest the whole time, I could do better.

I'm currently reading The Help, suggested to me by my fab friend Lyndsey. I will admit, it sat in my bedside table for about 6 months before I opened it. But, I'm about half way through now, so I'll post a review when finished.

Sailor Mouth Be-Gone!
If you know me at all, you know I have a major sailor mouth.

Especially when:
1) I'm mad and fired up
2) I've had a few cocktails

I'm not proud of it. And I definitely need to change my potty mouth. Here's to not dropping the f-bomb when not necessary!

Keeping in Touch
I almost didn't put this one because I feel I do a pretty good job. Just sayin':). However, we all could do better at staying in touch. Even if it's just a quick email, text message or a phone call, I need to take the time to tell the people I care about that I'm thinking of them. Especially with my grandma and grandparents.

Mood Swings
Although I can't control them entirely:), I do feel my mood swings could happen less when around my husband. As I assume most married couples are similar, I tend to take out my bad days and moods on my hubs. And vice versa. Neither of us deserves that.

My goal is to only hear the words "moody woman" shouted back at me once a week:). These are Brian's words for me when I am in one of my moods.

Count My Blessings
I can't tell you how fortunate I am. I am so blessed to live the life I do. I have a loving family, amazing friends, a stable job I enjoy, a roof over my head, the opportunity to enjoy all the extra things in life, and most of all, a support system that has my back. It breaks my heart to know how many people out there don't even have that. There are numerous times in my daily life that I need to let the little things go, think of all the suffering people in our world, and count my blessings.

That's it for now! Trust me, there are many, many others, but these are the ones I will concentrate on for now. We'll see how I do!