The Shift: From New to Old

This post might be a little serious for your likings, and rather rare for me. But, as I approach my 2-year wedding anniversary in November, it got me thinking about the changes relationships go through.

When it comes to relationships, which is better? The new exciting, discovery part of the relationship or the well-seasoned, wiser, very comfortable stage of the relationship?

For simplicity sake, I'll refer to these points of time as New and Old.

Now, I'm not sure there is a clear, exact answer to this, but there are definitely concrete positives to both sides.

My first instinct leans toward the New because of the exciting initial steps that lead up to any relationship.

When you first meet the person, the flirtatious exchanges, the mysteriousness, the first date, the first kiss, waiting for a phone call, putting on your hottest outfit, getting so excited to see the person walk through the door, long chats getting to know each other, discovering the person's hobbies, fantasies and hot buttons, the anxiety of making it official, being an item in public, spending first holidays together and saying I Love You for the first time.

As the relationship progresses, it gradually settles. The new wears off and the honeymoon stage comes to an end. You begin to become annoyed at times with the other person, you fight more, you know exactly how to push the other person's buttons and do it just to piss them off, you don't try as hard to look good, you now fart in front of each other, you discover things you wish you maybe didn't, you never hold back, an effort is needed to have date night, long chats are sparse and hearing I Love You no longer gives you butterflies.

So, on paper, the New definitely trumps the Old. But does it?

All seasoned relationships experience the same fundamental struggles. Male thinking vs. Female thinking. A guy's response vs. a gal's response. Communication obstacles.Who gives? Who takes? Annoyance. Laziness. Overreactions. Fed up. Ups. Downs. Struggles. All these things often appear to take the spark out of the relationship.

We sometimes question, why can't it go back to the good ole days? Or to the first part of our relationship when things were exciting?

We must realize these things are going to happen from time to time. Things are going to naturally shift. We must not get shocked or confused on the days the relationship doesn’t send a tickle up our spine. Focus on the happy, relaxed, wonderful times. If you don’t have these, create them!

So, in conclusion, I believe the Old outweighs the New by a long shot.

Don't get me wrong, I loved meeting my husband, going through all the firsts and falling in love, but today, we are stronger than ever because of the things we have experienced together.

Yes, he may drive me crazy at times, but it's his loyalty I have learned about over time, his humor I have seen over the years, his simple presence, his kind heart each and every day and the fact that I can't see my life without him in it that keeps me coming back for more.