Think Before You Speak

So, I'm driving Carson to school this morning when I hear disturbing noises coming from the little man's direction.

I think to myself, "Crap, I think he just shat himself. Hmmm...maybe it was just farts."  

Then, I realize that it has been two days since the little booger pooped.

"Well, I'm in for a treat when we arrive at school."

Because I don't want to be that mom that drops off her kid with the "Here's my kid, gotta run, oh and he just pooped." I would feel terrible.

I'm still about seven minutes away (there is three school zones to pass through people!) when more exploding air and squirting noises fill my ears. I wrinkle my nose as I start to contemplate.

You know, like a mother contemplates what to do when her son poops.

"Oh man, two whole days of poop."

"What if it's all over his car seat?"

"Should I pull over?"

"Dammit, I really like that onesie."

Like any rational mother in crisis would do, I call the husband.

I wasn't looking for real answers, I mean really, what was he going to do for me? I just wanted him to know this is the kind of shit I have to deal with in the mornings.

Literally.

He just laughs at me.

So we arrive at school. I was right. Shit everywhere.

Front, back, sides, you name it. He was covered.

Thank goodness for really kind teachers because I have never had to deal with shat like this.

I'll leave the clean up details to myself and continue on with this story.

All you need to know is that his onesie and pants were so nasty that I decided to take them to work with me and wash them there (we have washer/dryer in our fitness center).

I arrive at work and tell my pod buddies my lovely morning experience. I go start my laundry.

At 3:00, I remember I forgot to switch the clothes to the dryer and head down to the fitness center.

When I arrive back at my desk, I announce, "The poop came out like a dream!"

Awkward silence...

...until they realized I was referring to Carson's poop from my morning story.

 Heading out for a stroller ride at school.

I'm glad you're happy buddy. Hope you feel relieved:).