The Ugly Truth

Oh heyyyy. It's me blogging again already. Are you surprised?

Yeah, me too.

My baby has been so good lately that I have had more time to do domestic, house-wifey-type things.

Things like laundry, cooking, taking long walks, play time, organizing, and...taking down the Christmas lights.

Yeah, who wins the Wifey of the Year award? This girl.

I even had lunch with some girlfriends yesterday and had time to get in some shopping. It was superb. We are absolutely loving this weather.

So, shopping made me remember something I forgot to blog about. Although it's something I would prefer to forget.

This post should really be titled "The Truth Sucks."

Rewind to about 4 weeks ago. Brian and I were doing some last minute Christmas shopping and were in a hurry. He dropped me off at Crate and Barrel and headed over to Dick's with Carson. As I'm checking out at C&B, the cashier looks at me and says,

"When are you due?"

BAM!

Like a brick hitting me in the face.

After a few seconds of silence (I was in shock and embarrassed). I responded with, "Um, I had him 3 weeks ago."

Silence (from both parties).

Trust me, I wanted to hurdle that counter and go Teresa Guidice on her ass.

But I didn't. I smiled as she gave me a look of pity and apologized.

Moral of this story? Don't ever, I repeat, EVER ask a woman when she is due unless you absolutely, with 100% certainty know she is pregnant.

Lucky for that cashier, I wasn't just a gal with a few extra LBs or spare tire.

The truth and sucky part to this story? Your stomach doesn't return to normal right after popping out a kid. In fact, it takes a long time. At least for most.

But it's okay. I've come to terms with my muffin top for now. Thank god I can wear my fat girl jeans with the belly band and feel somewhat normal. The belly band sort of helps suck everything in.

This pregnancy stuff is life and body changing I tell ya. I'm convinced I will never wear a 2-piece again.

So, I didn't smack the bitch, but I wanted to.

In other news, sparkles are back in! I know they have always been somewhat in style, but I seemed to come across a lot more of them on my shopping outing.

I just love this sweater I got. Not too flattering for the belly, but I know with time, it will get better.

But this one does great things for the belly. Nice and loose fitting.

Love the pattern.

And I scored some jeans that actually fit me well for $19.95 at H&M. Can't beat that! No size reveal for you...ha!

I keep wondering when Kansas City is going to get winter weather. The large knit sweaters and Uggs are collecting some dust.

For now, I'll enjoy the amazing sunshine and my afternoon strolls with my baby. Only 5 more weeks until I go back to work. Not looking forward to that day. There will be monsoons and overflowing rivers. Being away from my little angel is going to be tough.

Although the truth can sometimes be ugly, life is sweet.

Something for a Soon-to-be-Daddy

When I was 9 months pregnant and carrying my haus of a child (yep, my sweet baby was 9+ pounds), packing a hospital bag was one of the last things I did. I know they tell you to have it ready within 6 weeks or something crazy like that, but I just somehow knew Carson was coming late.

As I threw in my granny panties and nipple cream (let's not sugar coat anything here), I decided Brian needed a Hospital Survival Kit. Let's be real, he was about to endure a fun-filled experience of his wife in labor and bear the brunt of my pain.

I envisioned f-bombs, insane hand squeezing, probably some name calling...mixed in with some, "Sorry to take this out on you babe."  I'm a sucker for pain and when you put that with my bossiness and dominant personality, you get a crazy pregnant lady with a spinning head like the chick in the Exorcist.

Lucky for Brian, I never got to the pushing stage and knew I wanted the drugs. And shockingly, I mentally controlled the contractions I had prior to the epi and was quite calm. I even surprised myself.

Back to the Hospital Survival Kit.

I gathered his favorite snacks (Beef Jerky, Zingers, Cheez Its, Reese's Pieces), granola bars, trail mix, some good magazines, Cherry Dr. Peppers, chap stick, Kleenex, movies, and adhered heartfelt, some funny, notes.

 

I really enjoyed seeing Brian's smile when I brought out the bag as we headed for the hospital to welcome our little one. I told him to read the notes only when he went for that item. So, throughout our three-day hospital stay, he not only enjoyed a snack (especially for the first 16 hours when I couldn't eat), but got to read a little note from Yours Truly.

And that's how you earn points with the soon-to-be daddy-o before cussing him out. :)

Writing in Circles

Wow, it's been a really long time since I have blogged. I've tried, trust me, but every time I sit down to write, my child pulls me away.

And I find myself writing in circles. And having posts that should have been published weeks ago. So the unfinished posts get deleted.

Sigh. Life as a mommy is tiring!

Well, y'all will just have to read a bunch of random crap about what's been going on the past couple of weeks. Hold on to your seats. It's really exciting {insert sarcasm here}.

Christmas
I can't believe it has come and gone. I didn't even get to tell my blog peeps Happy Holidays. Better late than never, right?

Front of our Christmas card/birth announcement

Back

We spent a full week in Wichita over Christmas due to an unfortunate stroke Momma K had. It was very scary for our family, but I'm happy to report she is much improved and on her way to making a full recovery. This is super cliche to say, but it's times like these that make you count your blessings and realize that life is too short.

Our extended stay gave all the grandparents and family lots of cuddle time with Big Boy.
  

 Grandma | Carson's Great Granny

My niece Kenzee | Carson's cousin

We also spent some time at The Ranch. Which wouldn't be complete without guns, loud explosions and hunting. This year, the boys busted out an AR-10, AR-15 and a small cannon. Yes, a real cannon.

I even shot the automatic guns. It was pretty exhilarating. The noise didn't bother Carson one bit. Thank goodness for sound headphones. :)

We also had a little time for gift exchanges. Although Carson didn't have a clue of what was going on this year, it made me excited for future years. I can't wait to see him rip open his presents on Christmas morning.

Little does he know, some of the things he received this Christmas were some stellar cowboy boots and a moving walking toy thing that is sure to make momma go crazy with all the songs and noise. :)

A few of my favorite gifts this year include:

 A photography book for my camera...the camera we purchased 2 years ago. I'm not much of a manual/book kind of gal, but this one is different. My wicked stepmother (I'm allowed to call her that because she calls herself that all the time:) it's a family joke) is an amazing photographer and knew this one is just what I needed. I'm about 1/3 of the way through, and so far I love it!

Check that out. Yeah-ya! Brian and I can't wait to cash this one in. What a creative/perfect idea from my brother and future sister-in-law. Thanks Amy (I know Ryan didn't have much to do with it!)

 

Parenthood
Has been fun. Challenging. Exhausting. Rewarding. Humbling. And so much more than that. It's something I can't even describe.

Carson is quite the growing boy. 

And I'm not talking about those scrumptious chubby cheeks of his.

He is quickly growing out of his clothes, losing his hair and sleeping more:). To be more specific, he's sleeping anywhere from 4-8 hours per night. Alleluia!

He also FINALLY got his first bath a few weeks ago. It took forever for that damn cord to fall off!

 Still in the sponge bath stage. Check out those monster feet!

 Splish splash. My first bath!

See his little dimple?! I'm not sure where it came from because both Brian and I don't have them, but I love it!

New Years
Celebrated with close friends, a low-key NYE was just what we needed. We even stayed until 2:00 am! Carson did awesome. He is such an attention hog:).

2011 was an amazing year for us. I'm sure 2012 will be just as exciting. Happy New Year everyone!

Watch Me Grow: 1 Month

Well, we've made it one whole month Big Boy!

You survived four weeks under the care of me and your Dad. When you read this someday, you won't understand how scary that is, but just know that you have completely turned our world upside down!

We never realized how much joy you would bring to our lives. We fall more in love with you every day.

Carson's 1-month stats:

Weight: 10 lbs 2 oz

Height: 22 in

Head circumference: 15 in
In the Closet: 0-3 Months
Diapers: Size 1
Grub: Breastmilk
Sleep: 4-8 hours, very inconsistent
New Activity/Development: Lots of cuddles, very alert for a baby, unintentional smiles, starting to really notice things around you
Loves: Eating, sleeping and pooping, repeat, repeat, repeat.
Hates: Tummy time, sleeping by yourself.

Carson, I don't know what I did to deserve you. I am so proud to be your mommy.

I'm pretty emotional these days. Just thinking about you and staring into your eyes makes me cry. I feel so blessed to have you. Don't tell Dad I told you this, but he cries just thinking about you too.

My favorite time with you is at night, when we two step in the kitchen to get you to go to sleep. You nestle up against my chest, and make the sweetest noises.

Sleeping has been a struggle my dear boy. You wouldn't sleep on your back for the first three weeks of your life, so Daddy and I pretty much held you all night long. We tried the swing, the bouncer, your crib. You just want to be held, so we rotate shifts in the recliner. We've had some looooong nights, but you are so very worth it.

The doctor said you have acid reflux and that's why you didn't want to sleep flat. We got you some medicine and it seems to be getting better. You now sleep in between us in our bed. It's a king, so we have lots of space. We're not supposed to do this, and know you won't stay there for long, but you sleep so well in between us right now. Shhhh...it's our little secret.

Your first month in this world has been eventful. We've been busy trying to get you on a schedule, but you seem to have another plan for us. You had your days and nights mixed up for awhile, so we started placing you in the sunlight in the morning and encouraging play. But for the most part, you eat and sleep when you want. Can we say spoiled?

We just returned home from your first road trip. You did so well. Slept pretty much the entire time in the car. I'm not surprised considering you always sleep in the car. Are we going to be those parents who go for car rides just to get you to sleep?

Your cord finally fell off a few weeks ago and you received your first bath! We also captured our first pic of your precious dimple. We're not sure where it came from, but you make it look so good.

I'm so smitten with you Big Boy. I spend hours and hours staring at you wondering how something so perfect was given to me. Sometimes, I have to pinch myself just to realize that this is real life. You are mine.

I can't wait to spend the next eight weeks with you at home my little love bug.

Love, Mommy

Newborn

Home for the Holidays

When I first found out we would welcome a baby this year in mid to late November, I thought to myself, "What a great time to have a baby and be off work."

Plenty of time to design my holiday card/birth announcement, time at home to get out all the decorations, on maternity leave to get some holiday shopping done. Sounds ideal, right?

Well, little did I know that I would have a c-section and be quite sore for weeks, and have a hard time finding any time during the day to get anything else done besides caring for the little angel I just gave birth to.

Honestly, I don't know what I was thinking. I guess I thought he would sleep a lot during the day. Don't they say infants sleep a lot? :) Well, he does sometimes...but only in between 2 to 3 hour feedings, throwing frantic fits when his paci falls out*, fusses to let me know he has wet himself or wails simply because he wants to be held.

Trust me, it's all so very worth it. But there are times that I can't even get a shower in until Brian gets home.

I did manage to finally get our holiday cards out. Every year, I question whether I should continue this tradition. I love receiving a Christmas card in the mail just as much as anyone, but seriously, postage costs are ridiculous!

And to think I didn't even send them to my entire family! I have a ginormous family (Dad is one of 11, so it gets quite ridiculous with all the cousins and second cousins).

120 cards, check
120 stamps, check
120 address labels, check
120 return address labels, check

After all this, I was left with a nasty taste in my mouth. Envelope licking is so gross.

I usually use a sponge stick, but mine had dried up:(.

I think it would be funny to watch me on video in an effort to get things done while very carefully holding my child at the same time and trying to keep him from getting upset.

I was tasked with this on Tuesday while trying to bake cookies for a Cookie Exchange party. Hold Carson with left arm, open oven with right, insert cookie tray with right, catch the pacifier before it falls out of his mouth onto the floor with left hand and while leaning backwards, close oven door with right. Seriously, it's quite the task.

But my Chocolate Crinkle cookies came out delicious. I just wish they would grow legs and leave this house so I can get my body back sooner.

The cookie exchange with the girls was just what I needed. A few hours away from baby (I still missed him though!) and a glass of red wine. It was nice to get outta the sweat pants and in to regular clothes. Although, next year, I vote we go back to a scarf exchange. Makes it easier on the muffin top.

Speaking of cookies, check out the awesome new cookie plate I received as a gift from my dear friend Megan!

Isn't it fun? Carson will love leaving cookies for Santa on this plate some day. Until then, you know when he can actually talk and make good eye contact, the plate will sit nicely next to my other fun decorations including my K-State snowman. Love!

A few other additions to the Christmas decor this year. A beautiful personalized ornament (a gift from my BFF Lyndsey) and a stocking for the little booger of course.

Purchased at Pottery Barn Kids. Love it! I had intended to put Carson in the stocking and take a photo to use on our holiday cards, but to my astonishment, the stocking wasn't stretchy and Big Boy didn't fit in it!

I can't believe Christmas is only a little more than a week away. We will be taking our first road trip with Big Boy home to Wichita. Should be an adventure!

What are you doing for the holidays this year?


*Isn't there some invention out there that will keep a paci in an infants mouth? I don't know why he continues to spit it out if it's just going to make him cry. Hmmmmm...

Meet Big Boy

He's here. Our little angel.

The baby we've anticipated arriving for what seems like an eternity.

We've spent months preparing for this moment, the moment we would become parents. 

The moment our lives would forever change.

I'm a mom. 

It's so surreal saying that...and feeling that. I'm somebody's mom. 

I didn't know how it would feel, until now. 

I'm a mommy to the most perfect sweet boy in the world. We are completely smitten and so in love.

We were welcomed by our boy on Thanksgiving Day. Truly a blessing.

A day we will always remember and celebrate.

A turkey baby.

Carson Louis Kutter

November 24, 2011

4:06 pm

9 pounds 5 ounces

20.5 inches

Shawnee Mission Medical Center

We had no idea how big he was. Our once called "Little Man," now referred to as "Big Boy."

The most precious big boy we have ever been so blessed to call ours.

Carson's Birth story:

The day you were born. A day that deserves ten thousand words.

I will write about it here, and cherish the details, and probably embarrass you with it someday. 

But I want you to know, I will remember this day forever.

It was November 16, my due date, and we had an option to induce tomorrow. 

It was scheduled, marked on the calendar and we were ready to welcome you. We were so eager to meet you, and hold you, and snuggle you. 

Then, I got cold feet.  I asked myself:

What if it's not time? Am I rushing him? Should I let him come when he is ready? 

So we decided to let you stay cozy and not rush it, and scheduled a second induction date for the day after Thanksgiving if you weren't to arrive by then. 

Call it mother's instinct, but I just knew you would come when you were ready. 

It was a very normal Wednesday (November 23), the day before the induction. It was a week past your due date. I had the day off, already in preparation of your arrival. And the arrival of all the family. Because the next day was Thanksgiving, and we had planned to feast before we welcomed you into the world.

 I nested like any other soon-to-be mom. Folding little onesies, organizing your closet, making sure your piggy bank was perfectly placed on the window sill in your room.

The room we would soon bring you home to.

Daddy got home around 6:00 and we sat down with a bowl of spicy taco soup around 7:30 joking with each other, "maybe he'll come tonight".

Half way through the spicy soup, I started having contractions. The same ones I had felt a few days before, but then they stopped. These felt the same so I thought nothing of it. 

A few hours later, the contractions were still there and becoming stronger...and closer together.

We still didn't believe it was time. We were so unsure after everything we had learned in our childbirth classes. I didn't want to rush to the hospital and get sent home. 

So we waited.

I took a bath, timed the contractions, and made sure our bags were ready...just in case it really was the real thing. Daddy napped on the couch with Jakey. 

At midnight, I woke Daddy up telling him we needed to think about heading to the hospital. The contractions had been present for 4.5 hours and they were getting painful. They were still a little inconsistent, but I was scared of waiting too long.

We made our way into the hospital hoping it was time. Time to meet you.

 We checked in, got settled into a room, and they checked my progress. I'll never forget when the nurse said I was dilated to a three and that we headed to the hospital at a good time.

What!? We're staying? I'm going to have my baby?

Complete joy flooded our hearts. 

From there, everything seemingly was progressing quickly. The contractions were getting painful so I got the epidural at 5.5 cm and my water broke on its own at six. We made phone calls and sent texts, and tried to contain our excitement.

We were going to become parents today.

  All of a sudden, the progression stalled. I was at 7 cm, and things weren't progressing. We waited and waited and waited for things to happen.

Waiting for you to make your way down.

We tried to sleep, but were way too anxious. I couldn't stop thinking about what we were about to experience. I so badly anticipated the moment they would lay you on my chest once you arrived. 

The moment I would be forever changed.

 After 16 hours of labor, the doctor broke the news. You were sunny side up causing extreme back labor, and the contractions were not strong enough to push you down into the birth canal. 

C-section would be the best option to bring you into the world.

I cried and cried and cried. I don't know why I was so upset, I just was. We had already worked so hard. 

You and me. Together. 

For nothing it felt. 

My heart yearned for that mother-baby moment I wasn't going to have.

 No pushing. No work. No sideline encouragement from Dad.

I wasn't going to experience that special time with you on my chest. 

My heart sank. Until your daddy made me realize what was really important. 

Preparing for you. 

It wasn't going to happen how we envisioned it, but at that moment, we knew we would hold you soon.

 I'll never forget seeing you held up over that curtain.

When Dr. Geidt shouted, "Oh Krista, he's beautiful! Such a big boy! Look at those cheeks!"

Daddy held my hand tightly and we cried together. Tears of happiness. A feeling we had never experienced before.

And when your Daddy brought you over to me. We cried some more.

That moment, my sweet baby, I will never forget.

I will take time to cherish all the little things...the sweet noises you make, the many facial expressions you already have, your beautiful blue eyes looking up at me, your chubby cheeks and the way you wrap your long finger around mine.

And your yawns. And your big brother's reaction to your yawns.

What makes me so lucky to have this beautiful baby?

I can't even explain the feeling. The feeling of being your mom.

Due Date

That's right, I am 40 weeks plus one day today. And still no signs of baby coming. Boo.

Are we ready? You have no idea how ready we both are to have this baby here. The anticipation, waiting, anxiety, excitement, nervousness and elation are beyond their limits.

I've seen his crib empty for too long.
I've smiled as I washed all his clothes and put them away.
I've sat in the glider and rocked dreaming of him here.
I've laid fully awake at night unable to turn my mind off.

It's crazy to think that 40 weeks have come and gone, and he will finally be here no more than a week. 

We had an option to induce tomorrow morning, but decided it was best to not force him. We are going to give it one more week and see what happens. If he doesn't make his debut, by all means, I'm forcing him out!

We might have ourselves a little turkey baby, but as his soon-to-be Uncle Eric put it, "It will be the best Thanksgiving we've had to date!" Love how excited he is.

We're all excited.

But we're not so sure about this guy:

Jake knows something is up. For several months now, he has taken on some new interesting habits:

• Eating toilet paper: He has NEVER done this, but now we will find him pulling toilet paper off the roll or rummaging through the bathroom trashcans.
• Being attached to me: Jake is clearly Brian's dog. Don't get me wrong, I love him and he loves me, but Brian and him have an unexplainable bond. Well, Jake has found a new attachment to his momma.
• Sleeping in the nursery on the comfy white rug: We will find him sleeping in Baby K's room, a room he never used to go in. Maybe he just likes the rug, but I like to think he is excited to protect baby.

Oh, and eating sawdust. When Brian was making the floating shelves for the nursery, we caught him eating sawdust. What!? This dog typically never chews/eats weird things. Sorry Cal, no remotes or thongs for this pup:)!

So the waiting game continues. Hoping to have baby here very soon. My blogging will most definitely be spotty for awhile (who am I kidding, you're already used to that from the past 9 months!), but I'll do my best to post pics and updates.

Na, Nuh, Na, Nuh, Na, Nuh, Na -- Na, Nuh, Na Nuh, Nuh! -- Na Na Na Na Na (to the tune of the Final Jeopardy Round)

Fall Back

Well hello Monday, I mean goodbye Monday.

I meant to post this last night, but couldn't because Time Warner Cable is seriously the worst cable/Internet provider on this earth and can't seem to get ours working correctly or consistently. Will U-Verse please just come to our area? Puh-puh-puh-pleaaaasssseee?

And now, I sit here at work trying to crank out this post because I have been that MIA from this blog (thanks to my friend Mark for reminding me). Did I mention that it's already insanely dark outside?

Makes me moody. And somewhat depressed.

While I appreciated the extra hour of sleep this Sunday AM (but not really because I woke up at the same time), I really dislike how early it gets dark now.

In case you were wondering, Baby K is still nestled all cozy inside my belly and is making no apparent signs of coming early or on time for that matter. I'm hoping to hear some results of progression this week, but mainly I'm just trying to stay positive.

He will come when he is ready. I'm just convinced he's as stubborn as his daddy and will procrastinate as long as he can. Two traits I definitely do not possess:)

So, I don't like "falling back" this time of year, but I definitely enjoy having the fall season back. There is something about this time of year that just makes me smile.

The weather and fashion attire play a part (although my attire* options are slim pickens these days), and most certainly the holidays, but one of my favorite parts is all the flavors and aromas that come with fall cooking, baking and eating.

Here's a few of the things I've been munching or sipping on the last few weeks:

 Source 
M&M's White Chocolate Candy Corn

It's no secret how much I love sweets, I have blogged about it way too many times. These are G-double-O-D-GOOD. White chocolate AND candy corn combined? How could they not be?

Source  
Coffee-mate Pumpkin Spice Creamer
It's not quite comparable to Starbuck's pumpkin spice latte, but it makes for a tasty, festive cup of Joe when you don't feel like spending $4+ on a latte.

Source (photo only)  
Penne with Sweet Pepper Cayenne Sauce
This recipe is a keeper, definitely enjoyed the slightly healthier version of sauce (sour cream vs. something like a heavy cream) and red bell peppers
I modified it a bit. Used penne pasta instead of Fettuccine, added chicken (cubed, then sauteed in a pan with some cajun spice), fat free sour cream and added a zucchini because I had one in the fridge.

Source 
Pumpkin Spice Muffins
I got this recipe from Vanessa's blog and these are EXTREMELY tasty. I was skeptical of only two ingredients, but I will definitely be making them again.

I took her advice and cooked them 25 minutes compared to 12 minutes and they turned out great. I also used some of the excess batter in a mini-muffin pan and they turned out great at 20 minutes baking time.

FYI, I highly recommend them with the cream cheese frosting! Although they are pretty freakin' good without:). Thanks for the recipe Vanessa!

Source 
Lobster Bisque at Capital Grille
We had dinner with the in laws on Saturday night, and the lobster bisque at Capital Grille was AMAZING. Although my step mom, Lori, tells me she thinks her recipe is better. I'll be sure to get it from her and report back:). Don't you just love soup this time of year?

Ok, now that I have made all of you hungry including myself, it's time I get outta here.

I leave you with this hysterical video. I'm sure many of you have already seen it since it was posted all over facebook last week. But by chance someone missed it, it's worth watching. Hilarious. The last kids in the video are my fav.

  Halloween Challenge: I Told My Kids I Ate all Their Halloween Candy

*My feet are starting to swell a bit. I couldn't fit my foot into my favorite pair of riding boots last week with socks on. Boo.